Welcome to the nadir of searching for the basic human needs of love, and understanding. Like a Burger King is to your nutritional health; so too is online dating to your romantic happiness. Surely, one may overcome the expenditures of one’s own time, money and mental energy, by, as they say: “putting yourself out there.” But by the gods! Who has time for THAT guff? So let us begin your thumb-sliding journey into the abject HORROR of the personalizes of men on the internet that you will no doubt encounter.